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i fell asleep when it was drying up, and when i woke up, there was thunder and lightning (lightning and thunder, if you please).

i dunt like it when it starts to thunder.

it' so loud.
i cant seem to do anything more for you.
disturbing.

i like showers of just the moderate amount of rain and no thunder. it drives away the heat and ugly stuffiness, but it does not become angry and scary.

my gum hurts. and im blaming the dentist. after he asked me if i had any toothaches, the mild ache spread to the other corner of the earth plus my gums. yech. top tooth grazing the lower gum. ok. it's probably not his fault.

the most stressful part of a Singaporean's life, should be during his teenage years.

1 We are ever in search of our own voices and identities.
2 We need to soak in as much knowledge and lifeskills as possible.
3 We need to consider what we want to be in the future.
4 We need to exercise regularly to pass/ excel in our NAPFA.
5 We need to build up on our character (and leadership).
6 We need to practise the skills we learn as we go along.
7 We need to revise on old skills that we have learnt.
8 We need to take care of our appearance (for various reasons)
9 We need to eat, shit, bathe, pee, etc.
10 -insert what you also have to do-
.
.
.
etc etc etc.

and then, they tell us: "You should learn to manage stress! Take some time off, go relax!"

Tell me, where the hell do we get the time from?

the two birds were darting around, chasing each other.

they were oblivious to the burden laden students walking below them.

the students noticed the birds, of course, but most simply looked away after identifying the u.f.o.

one girl marveled at how they looked liked butterflies, their thin wings flapping almost effortlessly. they zipped around the palm treetop, playing catch first thing in the morning.

what do we do?

we pull ourselves up from our cosy beds, lug heavy bags to a place full of stress. the place is full of friends, but nevertheless, also full of undue pressure and high expectations.

when was the last time we woke up to a day i looked forward to?

when was the last time we were able to do something we truly want to do?

when was the last time you could play catch with a friend so carefree-ly?


i don't remember.

and right after this i am going to rush my chinese work, and study for my exposition SA.
for what, i ask, for what?

http://go.reuters.com/newsArticle.jhtml?type=oddlyEnoughNews&storyID=13302980&src=rss/oddlyEnoughNews




30 laps = 1.5 km

there is something i must confess.

it has been nagging at me for more than 2 days.

yearning to be let out, but everytime it was stopped, either cos i wasnt in the mood, or i had other stuff to do.

that's it. im now going to let it out.













off to the toilet!

i have successfully numbed myself against yet another depression.

and another.


and another.


then new ones pop out, mostly from my overloaded imagination.

then i forget (or become numb).

then the cycle repeats.


why why why.

dunno why.

im waiting to see if you remember.

getting glum over my 3 piano songs! farny farny. haha-farny.

only 8 planets in our solar system now...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/5282440.stm
surprise surprise.

read from another bio teacher's blog (:

i have just rekindled my sadness about her.

i think more than half of the movie ticket butts i have, you have them too.

i think the joke we used to share, the three of us sometimes, will evoke nth but awkwardness and sadness now.

i remember the promises we had, the conversations about how LOTR rocked and HP books were better than the movies, how you preferred aragorn while i drooled over legolas.

my half blood prince is still with you, but i dont want it back. im afraid that once i get it back, everything we share will collapse.

im afraid of the day the new HP movie comes out. i wont know how to face you because i know you'll have a hard time facing me. but i want to go with you. i dont want us to end.

i have no idea how you're doing, and i want to sms you so much, but im afraid i'll cause more pain to you.

how long have i known you personally? 5, even 6 years? i dont remember, cos i have never tried to remember. all i knew was the happy future with you in my family.

i was distracted, i distracted myself. now i remember to think of you.

Why am i so tired.
you are becoming a drug
Yesterday
it felt so wrong, yet right to be near you
Had dental checkup. Dentist said that to put braces, i will need to pluck 2 teeth from the top and 2 teeth from the bottom. to all brace-dentisits: go eat shit la. where got lidat one? Ask yourself la, your teeth, however the slightest untidy, still chew and bite and grind ALL your food for you. for the sake of LOOKING GOOD, you go PLUCK HEALTHY TEETH OUT?! siao! if you could somehow dun pluck out, i would have considered going for braces cos my bro said it will be easier to maintain next time. to me, it's not worth it and not parallel to my values. things that help me, make me feel good, i'll take good care of them and treasure them.
a daily dosage of you doesnt seem to be enough anymore.
of course, i dont mean that those who pluck teeth for braces are sinners. their perception is different, mindset is different, and maybe their teeth are different too. extreme cases do happen. and if they are willing to sacrifice their teeth for a better look, i've got nth to say.
i'm so tempted to make physical contact
for me, i see no point. the dentist said that my teeth and gums were healthy, the only prob was that i had calculus (or sth i dunno wat he said) in between the untidy teeth. it did feel uncomfortable when he cleaned them off, but comparing to plucking my loyal teeth out, tying wire on the rest, allowing some stranger to pull and yank on them and paying them thousands of dollars at the same time, it's just chicken feed. why dont i spend these few thousand dollars on such cleaning then?
any contact
this is what i feel la. not saying vanity is wrong, but to me...yeah you get the point.

THEN, orals!!
but we arent making much progress in that direction
was a lil nervous due to the first grp telling us that mr jtoh was very strict and all, but relaxed considerably after seeing him eat chocolate and laughing with us. nevertheless, i was trembling the whole time i was up there. anyway, he had a funny smile on his face when he saw my script xD was good, and he said "that's a good point." when my brain suddenly cleared and i found what to say. ^ ^ hope it was as good as how fun it was.
i want to be closer to you than anyone
MR TOH IS NICE.

THEN, i tried doing work. at 8.10pm my eyes started drooping. i cleared up, cleaned up, and proceeded to sleep at around 8.35. t'was a pretty good dream at the end,

AND TODAY IM STILL SO FREAKING TIRED.
but then again, i should be patient
SB HELP ME.

Why are you so Tired?

"The year is made up of 365 days,
Each having 24 hours,
12 of which are night time hours,
which add up to a total of 182 days.

This leaves you with 183 days to work minus 52 Sundays,
which leaves you with 131 days to work
minus 52 Saturdays,
which leaves you with 79 days to work.

But, there are 3 hours each day, set aside for eating
and 1 hour for bathing and going to the toilet,
which adds up to 60 days,
which leaves you 19 days for working.

But you are entitled to 15 days of your vacation,
which means you have 4 days left for work minus 3 days,
which you usually take off due to illness or other emergencies,
which leaves you 1 day to work,
which happens to be Labour Day which is a Holiday."

SO, WHY ARE YOU SO TIRED?

-taken from a certain bio teacher's blog-

ok. i have seen this many many many times.
there's a mistake.
I KNOW THERE IS.
but i cant figure it out yet.
hmmm.
any idea?

jess and xiner were right!

jogging IS fun!

ok. not fun, in that yippee-sense, but it does feel good.

now my thighs have a wonderful burning sensation that is sth like after leg conditioning but is a very...GOOD sensation. ok wateva.

i jogged 2 km non-stop! eh i first time go jog voluntarily OK! very good liao. even thought it was super slow...like 17 mins. BUT IM HAPPY.

mum says i should just go swimming after third lang next time.
my mum rox (x

today's mr lim birthday!!!
you made my day.
and we're going to sing for him later during bio!!
this time i was really irritated at first.
haii. but how come i still so tired today harh!? walau i slept at 9.30 la!! nvm nvm. introducing this song! it's super nice. ok. at least for now.
nb would believe the immediate change in mood when i saw it was you.
天天夜夜- F.I.R

how do i live without you
i want to know
how do i breathe without you
if you ever go
how do i everever survive
how do i how do i
oh how do i live

当你的手还握在我手中
没有一次
我还停留
说不出口的感动

当你的手还握在我手中
灿烂的笑容
不论过多久
都让我心动

每一天在你的怀里等待
每一次我感觉你的存在
不能重来
不愿离开
是永远都灿烂的爱

每一天在你的梦里等待
每一次我感觉你的存在
so how do i live
how do i live
how do i live without you

tom yum goong is good. the plot is so sad i cried ok.
watch it if you can take violence.

WHY NEVER TELL ME HAH.
i didnt see you today
WALAU only today then i know my cooking changed from asian to western.
aint gonna see you for a few days
WTFFFF!?!?!
i miss you. dang it.
im sadsadsad. > < but mum says its ok la. so ok lor. its ok lor.

整天顾着玩！

that's plain unfair.

changed seats T_T JOYYYYCE!!!!!
the impact took my voice away...
haii i need to exercise...!! i need to run!! i want to swim!!
the initial irritance turned into a jolt of yearning;
haiyo. but got no motivation to make the trip to the park or the pool leh.
it could only be you.
walau how come not 21 cannot be a member of the club? so shit can pls lor! u suck la. curse you.
took, gave.
haii still need to write oral speech. but no motivation to start writing =___="
how i wanted to pull you close and take in your smell.
I WANT TO WATCH KIM SAN SOON TOO!
up and down you pull my emotions.
and i wanna sleep. AIYA HOW!?
you said yes...do you really mean it?
oh and im going slightly crazy over s.h.e again ^ ^

changing seats tomorrow...joyce's far away... T_T


just chionged finished math assignment! missed watching jin san soon with my sis and mum as a result ):
nvm nvm.


haii. a very...numbed sort of day...
i mean, sad things happened and irritating things happened but all the impacts seemed to be so dull i cant really remember what they are.


it's not a sad day, not exactly, but it aint a happy day either.


but nvm, im used to it! (:

i should jolly well stop this nonsense and wake up.

my sense of dread was confirmed.
you'll never appear there again.

i tried seeking for some sort of comfort from you, but not only did you not give any, you just kept mentioning things that hurt me. not that you were aware of it, i think.

but i recall all the times you had been nice, all the subtle hints that i may have misinterpreted; and i just cannot stop the hobby of thinking of you. i cant believe how deep i have sunk in. the first thing i think of when i wake up is you. obsession, thats what it is.

yet, you either dont know or dont care.
but its ok. i will survive. just as how i have been surviving.

oooo freaking tired.

got away from my computer at around half past nine, and watched jin san soon till TWELVE! TWELVE.

hoo. as usual, the guy's very shuai but the girl's not reli chio.

haii. my eyes hurt cos i cried before sleeping.
why? haha over some stupid reason that doesnt exist so no problem now.

aiiiii.

To-do:

1 sakubun
2 math assignmt
3 orals speech
4 RS
5 mug jap /_6 SS pt [I HATE PTs FOREVER]
7 revise mole, chinese, bio.

sb help me.

Yes.

Mun Wai is amazingly like me when i was a baby and we were yelping in excitement as we compared the pictures.

this is the first time i've got a little life born into the middle of my life.

i'm glad.

and i cant wait to see her.

yeeha!

im in a good mood!!!!

SPOT THE DIFFERENCE:

.
.
.
.
.
one is mun wai, one is ME!!!!

i was struggling with a confused torrent of emotions, mainly negative ones, when my brother announced it to us over dinner.

then, when we got home, and he showed us the pictures...

OMGOSH SO CUUUUUTE!!!!!!

Children can do the most amazing things, no?


Lee Mun Wai Sammi

About 2 months old

PAUL'S NIECE. MINE!!!!

ss now.

am in an utterly lousy mood.

next week will be chi pt chionging so i have suddenly hoped that it will not come so soon.

ss and physics pt over the hols.

havent train for 2 weeks. ankle hurts. muscles melting.

jc problems. one more year but i'll never sort it out before that. every option seems to be accompanied by 'mottainai'.

everyones mugging for geog but i just cant focus.

before and after pictures of me and you.

your acceptance of sb else.

hunger.

runny nose.

...
...
...

ok, who the hell said that expressing out all your worries will make you feel better?

please, i feel so much worse now.

come to think of it, i wanted to start this post with "i've never cried for you" until i realised i have. and it's scary, cos the tears fell easily.

anw, for saturday's stuff, pls go to shihua's blog.

this week was quite a fun but shit week at the same time. it's the kind where you are happy for the bigger part of the day, and when you quieten down, you suddenly feel very tired, very sad, very alone. i tink i screwed my sihan...so i hope i'll do good for geog...

BUT instead of mugging whole-heartedly, my thoughts kept straying. shit la if this goes on im going to really fall hard.

why do i willingly jump into the pit when obviously its a bottomless pit to nowhere?

hahaha. so cliched. hahaha.

it always hurts after i see you