i was pissed yesterday. i was so freaking irritated and even the slightest jealous.

but the jealousy was fought off well due to my long-trained immunity.

when i got home, i focused on my work so well since i don't know when. (cos i didnt on the computer till i was done.)

i felt good, plainly. and after i turned on my comp to do sth impt to me, i sensed a greater sense of responsibility on me.

there are things far more impt than jealousy, pissiness and unhappiness.

and now, i seem to have found my goal in life. i seem to understand the triviality of everything else. i seem to truly understand the saying that there's no point crying over spilled milk (and cursing anyone around for it).

i should just learn to grow cotton, harvest the cotton, learn to weave, weave a teacloth and wipe up the milk stain.

to study hard, is no longer for the sake of studying.

geog SAs, jap EOYs, math test. they are but the intermediate steps.

there's no need to panic, no need to get stressed.

study at my own pace, my own interest.

people mug like crazy; i don't have to feel inferior and do the same and end up all stressed and unhappy.

do what i like, do what i want.

because, i've found the faraway goal in my life.

and like all stories of geniuses (AHAHA jkjk) realising their talents and goals, there is(are) the mentor(s) behind the scenes.

thankyou, my mentor :)
(er, not rs mentor, pls no.)